Potty Training the Second Time Around

There are a lot of things that you think you know when you have your second child. You know what labor, delivery, and recovery will be like. You know about all the things that no one talks about – I’m looking at you, hemorrhoids. You’ve been through teething and the introduction of foods. All those big milestones in the first few years happen so quickly, and if you’re anything like me, you’re thinking this whole raising kids thing is not so bad.

Then it begins. Your toddler starts showing signs. Probably with a fascination with the toilet. Or the annoyance with the diaper and an overwhelming need for your toddler to be naked. Watching their older, independent sibling use the toilet freely certainly is fuel to this burning desire to want to use the toilet themselves.

Potty Training is no problem, right? I’ve done this before. How hard can it be to get this other tiny person to use the potty correctly? It’s a piece of cake.

That’s when my motherhood reality check hit me smack dab in the face. Here are my potty training takeaways this second time around.

There Is No Potty Training Blueprint

Just because it’s your second time doing this does not mean you know what you are doing. There is no one-size-fits-all way to potty train a child. My two daughters couldn’t be more different in physical stature and personality. What worked for my oldest does not work for my youngest, so why would I think potty training would be any different?

I went into potty training having SOME idea of what worked, but that easy peasy three days of nakedness at home and they come out of it potty trained did NOT happen here. Sure, we cleared our schedule one weekend and stayed home and did the thing, but at the end of the three days, she was still wearing a diaper at night and during naps, and ya know what…I’m totally okay with that, and so is she.

Don’t Rush It

This was something I learned the first time around – listen to your child. They will show you when they are ready to make this leap. My oldest had urinary reflux when she was a toddler, and we had a few visits with an amazing Pediatric Urologist. Her biggest piece of advice to us was not to rush potty training. Too many parents are in such a rush to get their kid out of diapers for one reason or the next when really they are better off staying in them until THEY are ready, not you. Don’t worry, they aren’t going to go to Kindergarten in diapers, it will happen, and it will happen much more easily if you go on their schedule.

We waited until Big Nugget was almost three before we potty trained her, so I thought we had PLENTY of time until we had to do this with Little Nugget. She, like always, had other plans. Around the time she turned two, she started to dislike her diaper and would take it off whenever she had a chance. So we went with it, and by the time she was 26 months, she was daytime potty trained.

Make It a Family Affair

Little Nugget thinks the Earth revolves around her big sister. Anything she does, Little wants to do twice as badly. I used that to our advantage when we were potty training. Getting big sister involved not only helped the little one, but I could see Big Nugget’s confidence and pride grow each time she helped out.

That also means that if you are going to reward your toddler for going pee in the potty, you have extra. When I was handing out marshmallows for a successful pee in the potty, four hands were waiting for their handout, not just two. And that is totally OK. Fostering a sense of accomplishment, not just for your own achievements but for others as well, is a great lesson to learn as an older sibling.

We also utilized our reward jar a lot during this time. The girls loved earning rocks by just going to the bathroom.

Potty Training Stinks

Both literally and figuratively. One thing that hasn’t changed is that you must bring your A-game when it comes to patience. There is no relaxing on the couch when you have a minute or two—no focusing on other tasks at hand when the naked one is on the loose. You’re always on. Always waiting for the next “I gotta pee” scream and sprint to the toilet.

When accidents happen, cause they will, then you have to put your own frustrations aside and be as supportive and reassuring as possible. This is a big undertaking for that little person, and it’s just as easy for them to get frustrated and discouraged. Patience and persistence will eventually pay off, I promise.

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